Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

I will fear no evil. Nor standardized test.

Today finds me at Middle-of-Nowhere State University, taking the GRE Literature Subject Test. Can you tell how thrilled I am? Yee-haw. [yawn]

Friday Kittehs

I was trying to take a picture of Moo for Friday Kittehs, but instead got an o hai! moment thanks to Erngeakura!

Student Essay Insanity #64!

Will you still love S.E.I.
When it's 64?

All bad Beatles references aside, it's time for more Student Essay Insanity! This week's picks of the nose litter are from 2008's Comp I & II research papers. I chose these not necessarily for their mistakes, but because of their sometimes-clunky wording (in a final draft, no less—Lord help us) and how poorly they make their points on otherwise interesting and timely topics.

Each blooper is from a different author and paper, unless otherwise noted. YES, they are ALL final drafts. I couldn't make this up. And, as always, it's all for real: real students, real essays, real(ly) bad.

I shit you not.

**********

• When talking about rock 'n roll or any other of the aforementioned genres, the first ideal that has been crammed into humans' mind is the sudden impulse to question the references that each song makes. Forget enjoying music for the sheer pleasure; rather, dissect it, skewing the lyrics in a way that makes them seem bad in a far-off context. Albeit there are songs with noticeable sexual and mature references, they will be explored later.
  
• The phrase "child abuse," is something that one may find hard to define because the definitions have expanded over the years. Since 1964, when the first child abuse reporting law was written, most of us have not taken child abuse seriously. ... [Author and book title] have touched the heart of many people and brought awareness of child abuse to our attention. This is an aspiring book that shows determination through a little boy's eyes. ...As a young child only his dreams barely kept him alive and motivated to go on and fight stronger.
  
• The Spanish Civil War began as a fight for change, as civil wars tend to do.
• There are many relationships that tend to exist in today's society.
  

And our last one from a paper covering, among several other works, Jamaica Kincaid's short-short story "Girl." This student both 1) started at the very last minute and 2) misread the text's purpose and meaning. And to think I spent all that time in my office, so students could come talk to me.

• The narrator had strong view points and talked to the girl straight forward. In the text, the narrator gave the girl a list of chores for the entire week and also gave her lessons on how to act in different situations. The narrator also continued to warn the girl that if she did not follow her directions and advice, the girl will grow up to be a slut. At this time, women were still under men's controls.
  
  
  

It's TMI—and I don't care.

Yesterday, in a discussion about their upcoming research papers, my Intro to Lit class had some questions. "What do you mean about 'voice,' Professor?"

"Voice? Oh, like authorial voice, the writer's voice." Oops. They were still confused. "Hmmm. Do you know anyone who has a distinctive voice? Like, you could hear that person anywhere and know exactly who was talking?" Heads nodded. "Have any of you ever called your ex and tried to disguise your voice?"

A ripple of laughter spread through the classroom, and I laughed, too. "Right! It never works, does it? It's the same thing with writing. You get to a point where you can establish that tone, that phrasing, that word choice that will make your writing distinctive to your readers, no matter where they might read it. For example: you can probably spot the King James Bible style anywhere, even in a parody. Same for Ernest Hemingway." I saw the light go on in a number of eyes. "Now, I've posted in BlackBoard an example of my own acad—"

And I had an idea. Risky, but with a potentially large payoff. That is, if I weren't going astray with an act of ADD-induced random impulsiveness.

"Okay, hang on while I bring up something on the projector for you." The students fidgeted while I worked on the computer to put up another example of my writing to contrast with the scholarly article I published a few years ago. What would appeal to them that I've written lately? I wondered. Hmm, not actively working on any articles right now...needs to be really different, but with a real target, a real voice and point it wants to make. YES!

So I blanked the screen (so the class couldn't see what I was doing) and came over here to E&P. I copy-and-pasted part of last week's rant on "feminine deodorant sprays." By God, it was different enough, and it was the same author. Maybe it would work. And it was something a real person wrote, too. Highlight...CTRL + C...CTRL + V into a Word doc.

I edited out a few things, but probably not enough. While I know that nobody really wants to think that their college professors are real people with real bodies that do the real things that other people's bodies do, it still helps to think about it—to remind us that everyone we meet is human JUST LIKE US.

I read the excerpt aloud, and was a little embarrassed. I asked the students a few questions about the audience for whom the E&P text was intended (didn't give them the URL), the point I was trying to make in the text, and what changes I could make to present a similar argument to a more formal audience. Then I read a few paragraphs from different parts of my journal article.

"I apologize for any TMI, folks," I said as I was about to dismiss them, "but the difference in style and tone was something I felt you really needed to see." A few stayed after class to ask research paper-related questions, and then the classroom was suddenly empty and silent.

Yes, I'd left in Too Much Information. I could feel the flussshh-BURN in my face as I realized that I might have weirded out my class, or maybe diminished my own standing with them. I stood there, alone in the weirdly-quiet room, and changed a few more things so I could present this example to another class.

"Fuck it," I said suddenly. "It's just like Flannery O'Connor said. They were uncomfortable, and I don't give a damn."

Because in my experience, true learning never takes place when we're inside our comfort zones.

A kitteh for your Tuesday

It's Tuesday, the day when the reality of the work week finally hits us: "Aaaack! Four more DAYS of this shit?!?" So here's Emmylou to cheer us up.

Chicken Monday: 11/2/09

Will someone tell me why kittehs always seem to want to be in the chicken pen? Because I can't figure it out.






Henrietta and Ernestine don't know, either. [chicken sigh]

On a bumper in Denver, Colorado

So true.